


The Sicilian Defense

by HeavenlyDisaster



Category: the Queen's Gambit
Genre: Canon Continuation, F/M, One Shot, Resolved Feelings, Strip Chess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:56:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27407686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeavenlyDisaster/pseuds/HeavenlyDisaster
Summary: Benny deals with the aftermath of losing Beth Harmon.  But sometimes the things we lose come back to us.
Relationships: Benny Watts/Beth Harmon, Elizabeth "Beth" Harmon/Benny Watts
Comments: 30
Kudos: 692





	The Sicilian Defense

**Author's Note:**

> Fixed the formatting.

The apartment was a mess. He sighed heavily and started collecting the pillows and blankets strewn across the floor. Hilton was snoring loudly from one of his armchairs. Arthur occupied the other. Harry Beltik was slumped against the wall near the shower. Nobody used the air mattress. Benny hadn’t offered it. Somehow in his mind, it belonged to her now.

Benny cranked on the shower and pulled the curtain around him. He reeked of alcohol and cigarettes. A smell he couldn’t stomach since Beth Harmon had walked out on him. No. That was wrong. She went to Paris for a tournament and just… didn’t come back. He could fool himself that there was a difference.

He thought he’d hate her. He had tried to hate her. When she’d called to ask him to go to Russia with her he had a sudden impulse to jump at the offer. Instead, he’d scrounged up all those miserable feelings he’d acquired in her absence and told her off. It should have made him feel better. He wasn’t even going to stay up with her Russia tournament. He’d ignore her just as she’d ignored him.

Prodigy. Show off. Smart ass. Obnoxious. He’d been called every name in the book, but he’d never been called an idiot. That was exactly what he was. An idiot. He’d listened to the radio from dawn to dusk for news of her. Every win for her felt like a win for him. As if he had anything to do with her success at all. But it wasn’t a sense of victory the way it was between a mentor and a student. It was pride. Pride at having been there before it all. Pride at watching her succeed when everyone else wanted her to fail. Pride at having known her at all.

It was noon before his apartment was cleared of his companions. He sat at the kitchen table and stared at the folded up air mattress across the room. He was alone again. A loneliness that had become impossibly more acute in recent days. 

He never should’ve had sex with her. That was his mistake. He’d let her take his rook again. It was the U.S. Championship all over again. Every step with her had been a move on the chessboard. And he thought he was so clever. The whole time he thought he’d had her exactly where he wanted her only to find himself in check before he could blink. 

A week passed. He found an article in the Times with her and the president. She looked good. Much better than the photo op she’d done for the Kentucky State Tournament. She’d looked sickly. As if the journalist were going to write about her funeral instead of her successes. Someone had cleaned her up. Someone not Benny.

Another week went by and news of Beth Harmon began to wane. Benny tried to move on, but it was like he had played the English opening only to find the board reset. Every move he made put him back at square one. He finally understood Beth’s desire to drink. He wanted to drink, too.

“They want you in Vegas, you know,” Hilton remarked one quiet evening. Cleo had been decidedly absent in recent months. Arthur and Hilton assured him it was work related and that they weren’t worried. 

“I told them I’d think about it.”

His friends shared a knowing look that irritated Benny in a way he wasn’t used to. He was typically more collected. More rational. His friends were concerned about him. He knew that. He was concerned about himself. He knew his behavior was erratic. Knew and couldn’t seem to prevent it.

“Have you spoken to Beth?”

“I don’t even know where she is right now.”

“She said she was with her sister,” Arthur offered.

Benny frowned. “She has a sister?”

The two shrugged. “That’s what she said when I spoke to her Wednesday.”

Benny’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You’ve spoken to her?”

“She said she would call if she thought you’d answer. Apparently you told her to never call again.”

Benny grimaced and dropped his head into his hands. He had wanted to apologize for that last call when he’d called her in Russia. He had been afraid to distract her. Not in a game so important. He let out a huff and shook his head. If she couldn’t see that he had been reacting in anger then she wasn’t as smart as she thought. 

“She takes things too literally,” he said defensively.

“So you didn’t mean it?” 

Benny slapped his hands down on the table and glared at his friends. “Why are we still talking about this?”

Arthur and Hilton exchanged worried glances. Benny sighed and dropped his shoulders. The silence in the apartment was screaming in his ears. He wasn’t himself anymore.

“Sorry. I…. There are other things to talk about. Peace in the Middle East! When are they going to figure that shit out?”

“Do you know why I play chess, Benny?” Arthur asked after a moment’s pause.

Benny leaned back in his chair and eyed his old friend warily. “The glamorous lifestyle?”

Arthur graced him with a reluctant smile. “Because in our world we are faced every day with problems we cannot solve. Wars, famine, pestilence, and plague. Things so far out of our control that it makes us feel small and useless in comparison. But, for a few hours, I can focus my attentions on sixty-four black and white squares with sixteen manageable pieces as opposed to five billion. And for those few hours, I can work through a problem that I can solve. Maybe I don’t win, but I can always see the solution and prepare for the outcome.”

Arthur sat back, pleased with his speech. Benny looked at Hilton who seemed just as baffled by Arthur’s declaration as Benny was.

“So… how ‘bout them Yankees?”

The boys left early. It was barely eight o’clock when they usually stayed well past midnight. Hilton had some excuse for an early morning and Arthur excused himself to call Cleo. Benny was sorry to see them go. His flat was too big for him now. Too empty.

They’d only been gone ten minutes when a knock sounded at his door. Benny hopped up the steps eagerly. Maybe he could talk them into playing a game of chess or two until he was too tired to think about anything other than sleep.

“What did you forget?” He demanded as he pulled the door open.

His mouth ran dry and his heart screeched to a halt in his chest. Beth stared up at him with those big, brown eyes of hers. Neither of the moved. For a while they just stared. Each sizing the other up.

“Are you going to make me stand in this stairwell all night, Benny?” She demanded.

Benny gave his head a small shake and stepped aside to let her into the apartment. He closed the door and stepped down the stairs after her. He didn’t know where to go now. Everywhere seemed too close to her. Not when he had no idea what she wanted. An apartment that a few seconds ago felt too big and too empty to be in alone had shrunk to less than half its size.

They were still quiet. Benny couldn’t think of a single thing to say. He who prided himself on his gift of gab. His easy charm and charismatic personality. In the wake of Beth Harmon, he was speechless.

“I’m sure I’ve forgotten a lot of things,” she said at last.

Benny’s brows drew together. “What?”

“You asked what I forgot.”

“Oh. I thought you were Arthur or Hilton.”

Beth nodded and let her delicate fingers drift over the chess pieces littered on the kitchen table. Benny remembered the way her fingers had felt on his skin. So soft and sure. Just like the way she played chess. Beautifully.

“I wanted to come sooner. After Russia things got a little crazy.” Beth stopped and walked a few steps over to the open door of his bedroom. “And I wasn’t altogether sure you even wanted to see me.”

“Congratulations, by the way,” Benny said, quickly. Finally finding his words. “You beat him. World Champion.”

A soft pink hue brightened her cheeks. “I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you, Benny. If you hadn’t called when you did-”

“You would have been fine. You didn’t win because of anybody but yourself.” Benny shrugged. “I always knew you would.”

Beth pressed her lips together and fixed him with her no nonsense stare. “Could you just take the compliment? It isn’t as though I give you many.”

“Well, it would seem we’re a lot alike in that regard.”

Beth strolled around the tiny space. A pensive look on her face.

“What are you doing in New York, Beth?” Benny asked the question that had been burning in his throat since he opened the door.

“My sister had some business she needed to take care of so I trailed along.”

“I didn’t know you had a sister. You’ve never mentioned her before.”

Beth lifted one shoulder and let it drop. “It’s not by blood, but Jolene’s family.”

“So, you just decided to go on a trip to New York with your sister out of the blue?” Benny didn’t know why it was so hard to get his head around. Maybe because he had failed so miserably at convincing her to return to him after her Paris defeat a year ago.

“Well, and I wanted to see you.”

Benny tucked his bottom lip between his teeth and shook his head slowly. “That’s not funny.”

Beth straightened from the stack of magazines she was perusing and turned to him. That sultry smile on her perfect lips. “I wasn’t trying to be funny.”

“Uh huh. What am I to you, then? Just some rebound? Do I look that pathetic to you?”

Beth narrowed her eyes at him. “No. I’ve seen pathetic. My father was pathetic. Both of them, actually. You, Benny? You’re a far cry from pathetic.”

Benny dropped into a chair at the kitchen table and rested his cheek on his palm. “What am I to you? What do you want from me?”

Beth grew pensive. She circled the coffee table and settled onto the chair opposite him. Across a messy chess board. “How about a game?”

“I’m not in the mood.”

Beth smiled patiently at him. “I’ll bet you ten dollars I can beat you.”

Ben narrowed his eyes. “No.”

Beth frowned. Her eyes dropped down his chest then to the chess board. She started putting the pieces back into their starting positions. “How about your shirt, then?”

“What?”

Beth paused. The black knight was pinched between her fingers. “If I win, you take your shirt off.”

“And if I win?” 

Beth raised her brows and fixed him with a coy smile. Benny felt the blood rushing from his brain to his cock. A bad move since it wasn’t his dick he needed to win a game of chess against the world champion. He shook his head and started setting up the pieces. Beth picked up two pawns and held them up in her closed fists. Benny took breath and tapped her right hand.

White. Excellent. 

Of course it didn’t help. Twenty-nine moves later, Benny let out a curse and jerked his shirt up over his head. Beth’s eyes moved down from his face his belt buckle. Her gaze lingered there. Maddeningly. Then, her attention jumped back to his face and she smiled.

“Again.”

Beth picked black. This game started more slowly. Benny was growing more determined not to let her beat him again. Determination or not, Beth reached over and dropped his king after an hour. He stared at her expectant expression.

“What?”

She nodded at him. “You already lost your shirt. That means you have to take off your pants.”

Benny gritted his teeth and stood to unbuckle his belt, unfasten his jeans and drop them to the floor. He was grateful he’d had the foresight to put on boxers that morning. 

“Again?”

“If you wanted to see me naked, Beth, all you had to do was ask.”

Beth’s eyes went wide. “Why, Benny Watts! I am a lady of reform! All I asked for was a simple game of chess.”

“Strip chess,” he reminded her.

Beth shrugged indifferently. “Chess is chess no matter the stakes.”

Benny laughed in spite of himself. He tried to remind himself that Beth Harmon was a selfish, boozy, cold-hearted bitch. That letting her back in would be a bigger mistake than when he’d let her in the first time. All the same, he sat back down and started the third game of strip chess already accepting his inevitable defeat.

In a surprise victory, Benny pinned her in checkmate for the first time since Las Vegas. Beth stared at the board in barely concealed anger. Benny leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his bare chest. He let her fume for a few moments. 

“Well?”

Beth looked up at him and pressed her lips together. She stood and put her back to him. It occurred to him, very belatedly, that Beth wasn’t wearing a shirt. She was in a dress. With one victory, he had evened the playing field.

“You’ll have to help me. It zips up the back.”

Benny cleared his throat and stood from his seat again. How was it that with her even when he won, he still lost? He laid one hand flat on her back and pinched the tiny zipper between his fingers. Beth pushed the dress off her shoulders to pool around her ankles. She turned to face him in black, lacy lingerie. Whatever Benny had been expecting under her dress, it hadn’t been that.

He managed to find his voice again after choking back the lust he was practically drowning in. “Again?” He squeaked.

A slow smile spread over Beth’s face. For the very first time in the years he had known her, Beth Harmon said no to a game of chess. She closed the distance between them and reached up to toy with a lock of his hair.

“You know, Benny, most nights all I think about is chess. I can imagine the pieces so clearly on the ceiling. I replay games over and over and over again. But lately, the only thing I dream about is you and this stupid hair.”

Benny cupped her face between his hands and melded their lips together. Beth’s arms went around him, her fingers teasing over his skin. Up and down his back, over his shoulders, down his sides. Finally, she reached the waistband of his boxers. Benny let out a moan from deep in his chest as Beth curled her hand around his stiff cock.

He turned them and put her back against the wall separating his bedroom from the rest of the apartment. He unclasped her bra with ease and pulled it from her. She was so goddamn soft. Benny moved his lips from hers and nipped at the tender flesh of her neck. Beth sighed and shoved his boxers from his hips.

The first time had been quick. Urgent. As if they couldn’t survive another minute without the other. Now, Benny was determined to make it last. He didn’t want speed chess. He wanted a real game.

Beth moaned loudly as he took her nipple between his teeth. Her leg hitched higher on his hip so he gave in and lifted her. It was easier to bring her tits to his mouth than the other way around. 

“B-Benny,” she gasped as he switched sides. “Benny, please. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

He pulled back and looked up at her. Her cheeks were bright, her eyes shining even as they drooped with need. “Why were you waiting in the first place?” He didn’t need her answer just then. Words could wait where their bodies couldn’t.

He kissed her again, pulling her head down and carrying her to his bed in the same moment. He pulled her panties away and rolled a condom down onto himself. Beth kissed his jaw, his neck, his shoulder. He drove into her and lingered there a moment. Beth gasped and curled herself around him, tying their bodies together. 

“I think it’s my turn to make a move,” Beth whispered. She pushed them over until she was straddling him, his cock still buried inside her.

“It’s been your move since Paris.”

Beth rocked her hips up and back down. Benny thought he was going to lose his mind. “Does this move not work for you?” She twisted her hips as she rocked again.

“I-It’s working.”

She began to move faster. Her twisting, rocking hips never faltering in their rhythm. She let out a gasp and Benny felt the muscles of her thighs tremble around him. He turned them back around and set his lips to her throat as she came. It didn’t take him much longer to come himself.

They lay there, dazed and panting, for an eternity. Benny tied off his condom and dropped it in the trash can under his bedside table. Beth stared up at the ceiling. Benny couldn’t stop staring at her. Mapping her out so that he could remember every detail after she left him again.

“Do you know I used to hate you?” Beth said to the ceiling.

A small smile traced Benny’s lips. “I know.”

“It wasn’t really you that I hated. It was how you grew up. I knew that if I had had even a tenth of the opportunities you had I would have beaten Borgov back when you were beating the players in Annapolis.”

Benny turned his eyes to the ceiling. “Maybe that’s true, but I don’t think you’d love it the same.”

“I would. I was born to love chess.”

Benny reached over and brushed her auburn hair back from her face. “Why didn’t you come back to me after Paris?”

Beth shut her eyes for a moment. Benny was preparing for the worst. Already regretting taking her back into his bed be damned what his body wanted. Finally, she opened her eyes and turned to look at him.

“I was afraid of what you did to me.”

Benny scrunched his face up. “What I did to you?” Panic set in and he started to sit up. “Did I hurt you?”

Beth pulled him back down and shook her head. “No. You… you made me a better person. You made me want your approval. I wanted you to be proud of me, but in Paris…. I wasn’t ready to be a better person after that. I just wanted to dissolve without looking at your face and knowing how disappointed you were in me.”

A stray tear had dropped from her eye. Benny brushed it away. “Beth, I was never disappointed in you. I was angry when you didn’t come back to me, but never disappointed.”

“I didn’t think I’d miss you. Not really, but I think I drank more to forget you. I probably wouldn’t have made it to Russia in the first place if it weren’t for Jolene. And I definitely wouldn’t have made it home if it weren’t for you.”

“Beth,” he said softly, “I love you.”

A wide smile split her face. Her eyes shone with unfallen tears. “You couldn’t have said that before Paris?”

“What?”

“We spend weeks together studying and the first time we have sex all you could talk about was the chess tournament.” She shoved the heels of her hands against her eyes. “I thought you didn’t care for me at all.”

“Didn’t-?” Now, Benny did sit up. “I’d never have asked you to come back if I didn’t care for you. I would have never offered to train you at all. You think I could stomach nine hours in a car with someone I didn’t care for?”

Beth tilted her head at him, an amused expression playing on her face. “Alright. Well, what now?”

“What do you mean?”

“What do we do now?”

Benny slid back down beside her. “Sleep, I suppose.” He reached up and flicked off the light.

“And when we wake up?”

He pulled her closer to him, her head coming to rest just over his heart. “Pray it’s not all just a dream.”

**Author's Note:**

> Obsessed with the show and the relationship between these guys. I needed some fanfic for them so I made it myself. Hope I'm not the only one.


End file.
